The Ticket That Exploded - Also some Radical Alterity Connections
The question was brought up in class…Should we be angrier at this book or the way that media affects how we look at love and life an sex? Shouldn’t we be mad that the media has manipulated us over the years?
First of all my feeling on this is, I am actually angry with both. I will start out explaining why I the media is upsetting to me. I am and have always been frustrated by the media showing us what we should look like and who we should be, and how we should live our lives. The media consistently in more forms than we realize teach us what is “right” and “wrong” and what “everyone” should do and look like. I feel like it is so much apart of our lives though that it is almost impossible to function and to live without the media. We would not know what is going on in the world, we would be “hermits” potentially and we would not “fit in” with the rest of society. While some might view that as more desirable, to me it is just not possible. Therefore yes, I am frustrated with the media “controlling” my life and my thoughts and how “life should be”.
Secondly, I have been very back and forth on the book. I feel that maybe there was a point to reading the disgusting, disturbing information of the authors thoughts and maybe wildest dreams, yet why am I forced to read it, and had no idea I would be required to read this for a class. Its not merely the fact that its gay porn, I would personally not read any porn. I would rather not have these vivid descriptions of someone else’s fantasies in my brain.
The problem that I am finding is with the book I am saying that it crossed the lines of choice. Also it is ok for the media to control my thoughts but not the book, because I can chose what I want to listen to read and hear from the media and I can’t with the book. Normally we have more control over what books we read rather than what we watch on TV, what we hear about in the news, or the movies. Yes we have some control over the media we hear, and I guess we have the option to not watch TV or movies or read books or magazines, but realistically we would have no knowledge of what is going on around us and it would be hard to communicate to others. I guess it’s a struggle and a challenge to read something that you feel you were forced into rather than a go to a movie that you chose to go to and be manipulated by.
I think Burroughs does cross the boundaries in most of our lives of what is “ok” to be reading and what we want to think or not think about. The problem is his book doesn’t give it a rest. He doesn’t just talk about it at one time for a short time. We are stuck in this miserable disgusting world that we have no control over changing what is actually happening.
Another interesting point that I feel might tie into this is something from Radical Alterity, where on page 91 it talks about how America has no origins. It talks about how we have a mythical society and a mythical origin. I think that this is true because we do not necessarily follow our ancestors and we have no background that we follow. I feel that this is an effect that the media has had on us as well. I think the media has shaped who we are supposed to be, causing us to have no origin and no originality. We are all similar to everyone around us. We don’t bring very many unique backgrounds into our diversity. We appear to be very close to our origins like the book says, but yet we are so far away from them. I personally have little to no recollection of my own origin.
Oddly enough I have found that some things in Radical Alterity make me laugh because they are things that are true about America, or people in general that we may not realize, but is very true. We seem to have no meaning and not a very strong need to look for it. As a whole I feel that this is true, but personally I feel like I have found meaning in my life. I think that as a majority Americans have no other meaning in life besides going to school to get a education to get a good paying job to make money to spend. I find no meaning in living life that way, but that’s how it is “supposed” to be lived, and therefore I am at school wishing I wasn’t. But to survive its necessary. These books have been very interesting to connect to life, or attempt to connect to life.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Ticket Response 2
After listening in class on Thursday, it helped to get a little bit of a better understanding with the fact that maybe the author is trying to make a point, and maybe the author is warning us of maybe what we might be becoming in some sort of way. I also was intrigued in my communications class when the lesson that day was that we give meaning to words. The reason that things might disgust or affect us is because we have given it a certain meaning and therefore we find this book grotesque, upsetting and quite disturbing. After that lecture I thought, maybe the author when writing this book knew that there was a power to the words he was using because most people give it a certain meaning. We are supposed to be held responsible for our feelings, not the author that caused us to feel this way. And maybe the author was aware of his power with words and was trying to get his point across in a way that was like “DO YOU UNDERSTAND NOW?”. It really helped for me to realize that I am letting this book affect me because of how I normally interpret those words and how I give meanings to those things. I am still not quite sure of the point of the book, but I am hoping that now that I have learned that if I don’t let these words affect my emotions, I might be able to grasp a better understanding of the lesson.
Another possible reason I was in such distraught was because I feel like sex is such an amazing connection that you can share with someone…and because of my Christian upbringing…this was totally disgusting and not something special that you can cherish and share with someone your in love with. But once again, its special to me because I have given it that meaning and I have made that connection with those words, where as maybe I should come at it from another view point.
I think that there are many possible things that the author was trying to help us see, or stir in us. Maybe the authors point was to bring these meanings forward to us so that we realized how important sex, love and relationships are to each of us. Or maybe it was possible that the author is upset with the way our society views sex, love and relationships. Either way the author got to most of our emotions and made us think about our morals, and our understanding of how love, sex and relationships should be. I think even if you were to look at his story without all the sex you might see that maybe there is no meaning to that either. Maybe overall the book is a virus that we will receive by reading it. I don’t think that there is one direct answer, but many possible answers. I think this book helps us to explore ourselves, our meanings and what we believe about important topics in our life.
Another possible reason I was in such distraught was because I feel like sex is such an amazing connection that you can share with someone…and because of my Christian upbringing…this was totally disgusting and not something special that you can cherish and share with someone your in love with. But once again, its special to me because I have given it that meaning and I have made that connection with those words, where as maybe I should come at it from another view point.
I think that there are many possible things that the author was trying to help us see, or stir in us. Maybe the authors point was to bring these meanings forward to us so that we realized how important sex, love and relationships are to each of us. Or maybe it was possible that the author is upset with the way our society views sex, love and relationships. Either way the author got to most of our emotions and made us think about our morals, and our understanding of how love, sex and relationships should be. I think even if you were to look at his story without all the sex you might see that maybe there is no meaning to that either. Maybe overall the book is a virus that we will receive by reading it. I don’t think that there is one direct answer, but many possible answers. I think this book helps us to explore ourselves, our meanings and what we believe about important topics in our life.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
The Ticket That Exploded Blog #3
While the content of The Ticket That Exploded has been very difficult for me to enjoy reading I have come to see that my reactions to the book so far are what the author originally hoped for. The book has been disturbing, has been hard to follow partially because I don’t want to follow it and it has made me sick and disgusted. I know these might seem like harsh reactions, but to me there not. I have done some research on the book to try to understand more, and I have heard about the “cut-up” style the author chose. While understanding that the author did this style of writing, it seems as though he wanted to make the book confusing, but as to why he chose to be grotesque, who knows. It said that he wanted it to “aim for the gut, bypassing linear thought” (http://www.mactonnies.com/burroughs.html) and he easily hit the gut for me. He didn’t want it to be easy for the reader, and he wanted it to make you feel something. I also have found that he complicates his writing by bringing two opposite ideas together creating a metaphorical feel. I still am slightly confused by the text and trying to understand the author, the point, and how it is relating to the class, but I think the fact that this book is advanced and relates to time and space and that connects with the whole nanotext feel. I am still very unsure of this book.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Groundhogs Day - Blog #2
Groundhogs Day –
While watching “Groundhogs Day” I tried to remember to keep my thoughts focused at a smaller scale view, but I couldn’t help to realize not only the smaller scale importance, but the larger scale importance as well. I think a huge part of this movie was time and what we would do if we only had a short time to make someone like us. Also who we would be with a short amount of time or what choices we would make. I think too often in our lives we think about the bigger picture and that each day will pass and we can create a new outcome the next day.
First looking at the smaller scale ideas, I thought to myself, and what would it be like if I had to relive each day over and over again. I thought what would I do with the few hours that I am awake each day to keep myself sane. There were many thoughts and questions I asked myself about what I would do with my life. Many things were similar to how Phil Connors, played by Bill Murray, would go about each day. I think the first day I wouldn’t know what was going on and probably be crazy. Then I think I might do whatever I wanted to test it out and see if I got in trouble for things or got caught or even if I stayed alive. I think overtime though I would want to do things not just for myself, but also for others. I think with the small amount of time I would want people to talk to and try to please to make their day a little more special. Phil spent so many days over and over again trying to get Rita, played by Andie MacDowell, to like him. He tried to make her day special and perfect and he wanted her to fall in love with him in those 24 hours he had. I think looking closely at the movie you see that Phil wants to live a normal life, but when you only have 24 hours to make someone like you or make someone happy its very hard to change who you were known as. I think throughout the time that he is reliving this day he realizes that he can’t look at the bigger picture anymore because he no longer can have that. He has to see the smaller picture in life and notice that each choice he makes matters. He has to live each day as a new day, but with similar occurrences.
When you back away from the small thinking and look at it in a much larger picture you realize how many times in our own lives we say we want to go back to a certain time in our life and either fix the mistakes we made, or redo a day. I think we take for granted the fact that we don’t have to relive the past and each day is a new day to do something different. Even though Phil was able to shape each day to turn out how he wanted it he was still stuck reliving that same day over and over again. I think Phil realized very quickly how big of a jerk he really was to people and how he took for granted how good his life was. I think when he realized that he had one day every day to relive and make it how he wanted to make it he made sure to do it right each day. He helped the old homeless man have an amazing last day alive. He made sure to make Rita and the other people around him happy. He was stuck in one day reliving it, unable to die and he could make the outcome of each day. Before Phil was stuck reliving each day he assumed he had the next day to rely on. He didn’t think that this one day would matter that much and he was thinking on a larger scale thinking that he had all the time in the world to enjoy a better day.
In viewing this film from a small and large perspective it really made me think about life and how important each day is. It makes me realize that we only have 24 hours to create the outcome of our day. I think if most people started realizing that those 24 hours could make a difference in someone else’s life, or change whether we were known as happy or an angry person I think we would live differently. I think we take for granted the small amount of time we have each day to love each other and to care about one another. I think too often we look at the bigger picture and think today wont matter because after we get through today there is always tomorrow. There was no tomorrow for Phil and he had to keep reliving his “today”. I think Phil started to realize that the little things he did in each day made a huge difference to his outcome of success or failure. He started to realize that the better he knew someone the easier it was to make that person happy. Phil was forced to look at the smaller scale level and realize that each of his actions in his day would create an either good or bad outcome. He had to choose what kind of day he wanted to live.
While watching “Groundhogs Day” I tried to remember to keep my thoughts focused at a smaller scale view, but I couldn’t help to realize not only the smaller scale importance, but the larger scale importance as well. I think a huge part of this movie was time and what we would do if we only had a short time to make someone like us. Also who we would be with a short amount of time or what choices we would make. I think too often in our lives we think about the bigger picture and that each day will pass and we can create a new outcome the next day.
First looking at the smaller scale ideas, I thought to myself, and what would it be like if I had to relive each day over and over again. I thought what would I do with the few hours that I am awake each day to keep myself sane. There were many thoughts and questions I asked myself about what I would do with my life. Many things were similar to how Phil Connors, played by Bill Murray, would go about each day. I think the first day I wouldn’t know what was going on and probably be crazy. Then I think I might do whatever I wanted to test it out and see if I got in trouble for things or got caught or even if I stayed alive. I think overtime though I would want to do things not just for myself, but also for others. I think with the small amount of time I would want people to talk to and try to please to make their day a little more special. Phil spent so many days over and over again trying to get Rita, played by Andie MacDowell, to like him. He tried to make her day special and perfect and he wanted her to fall in love with him in those 24 hours he had. I think looking closely at the movie you see that Phil wants to live a normal life, but when you only have 24 hours to make someone like you or make someone happy its very hard to change who you were known as. I think throughout the time that he is reliving this day he realizes that he can’t look at the bigger picture anymore because he no longer can have that. He has to see the smaller picture in life and notice that each choice he makes matters. He has to live each day as a new day, but with similar occurrences.
When you back away from the small thinking and look at it in a much larger picture you realize how many times in our own lives we say we want to go back to a certain time in our life and either fix the mistakes we made, or redo a day. I think we take for granted the fact that we don’t have to relive the past and each day is a new day to do something different. Even though Phil was able to shape each day to turn out how he wanted it he was still stuck reliving that same day over and over again. I think Phil realized very quickly how big of a jerk he really was to people and how he took for granted how good his life was. I think when he realized that he had one day every day to relive and make it how he wanted to make it he made sure to do it right each day. He helped the old homeless man have an amazing last day alive. He made sure to make Rita and the other people around him happy. He was stuck in one day reliving it, unable to die and he could make the outcome of each day. Before Phil was stuck reliving each day he assumed he had the next day to rely on. He didn’t think that this one day would matter that much and he was thinking on a larger scale thinking that he had all the time in the world to enjoy a better day.
In viewing this film from a small and large perspective it really made me think about life and how important each day is. It makes me realize that we only have 24 hours to create the outcome of our day. I think if most people started realizing that those 24 hours could make a difference in someone else’s life, or change whether we were known as happy or an angry person I think we would live differently. I think we take for granted the small amount of time we have each day to love each other and to care about one another. I think too often we look at the bigger picture and think today wont matter because after we get through today there is always tomorrow. There was no tomorrow for Phil and he had to keep reliving his “today”. I think Phil started to realize that the little things he did in each day made a huge difference to his outcome of success or failure. He started to realize that the better he knew someone the easier it was to make that person happy. Phil was forced to look at the smaller scale level and realize that each of his actions in his day would create an either good or bad outcome. He had to choose what kind of day he wanted to live.
Friday, January 9, 2009
The Invention of Morel
The Invention of Morel –
As I started out reading The Invention of Morel I started to really like the main character and thought it was sweet that he fell in love with Faustine. I thought it was cute that he made a garden for her and that he would sit and watch the sunset with her and how he loved her even though she ignored him. I read the first half of the book thinking that this man was cute trying to find ways to make the woman fall in love with him. I also found his jealousy of Morel cute because it saddened him when Morel was with Faustine. While discussing the book in class we briefly mentioned how he was clearly a stalker of Faustine. I started looking at him in a different way, and the actions he was portraying in a different way. I realized how stalker-like he really was and how it even got worse through the ending. In the beginning he was just watching her constantly and following her and trying to be around her. He soon starts to sit and talk with her. He would get angry if she was with Morel and he wishes it were himself. Before he discovers if they are actually real or not he debates whether he should abduct her, go with her on the boat, or die of misery. He has either fallen so deeply in love that he is not thinking clearly, or he is just insane. As you are being reviled the secret you start to realize how obsessed the convict has become of Faustine. He finds out that it is just an image he is seeing of a woman, and that she is already dead, yet he still fascinates over her. He wants to get off this island to find her and tell her he loves her in hopes that she wont be creeped out. He soon realizes that she isn’t alive anymore and that he has no hopes of getting off the island to find her, yet he still doesn’t give up. At the end he even adds himself into the whole creation of these people to make it look as if him and Faustine were actually in love with each other. He hopes that if anyone were to find them there that they would think they were passionate lovers. His obsession doesn’t stop there either. At the end he says, “My soul has not yet passed to the image; if it had, I would have died, I (perhaps) would no longer see Faustine, and would be with her in a vision that no one can ever destroy.” (Casares103) This obsession has gone so far that he dreams that when he dies he will live happily with Faustine and no one can stand in the way of that. Now I have finished the book and have looked closely at the “relationship” or lack thereof between the main character and Faustine. I would have never labeled him as in love with Faustine, just that he has a fascination with her. How can you really be in love with someone if you have never had an actual conversation with them, and you know absolutely nothing about them besides what they did everyday for a week of their life, and what they look like. It is also amazing to me that he would still fantasize about Faustine and have hope of love with her even after he realizes that she is no longer living, and the image he is seeing of her is like a picture on TV. He was so “in love” with her that he was planning on abducting her and still hopeful that she would return his love. To me he sounds crazy and I don’t think a way to make someone love you would be to stalk them crazily and then take them by force. I think that maybe he had such high hopes of a real life again and real love that he went crazy trying to get Faustine to fall in love with him. Also, even after he realized she was not actually there he didn’t want to take away that hope and chance of love so he did whatever he could to make it real. He may have been crazy, or he may have just had so much hope that he lost common sense.
Another part that I found very interesting, and kind of confusing was the fact that the convict kept thinking that the people were out to get him and kill him. Even as Morel was reveling they were not real he thought that they were going to search for him and kill him. I don’t know if it was because he was a convict or if he knew that he was stalking Faustine that he thought they were going to come after him. I realize that he kept thinking that maybe it was all a trap, but nothing seemed to give him that big of a clue that they were. They seemed like innocent, harmless bystanders and none of them seemed violent or like they saw him. Also if he were really afraid of them you would think he would have never presented himself to Faustine. I wasn’t too sure about why he was so afraid of them finding him.
As I started out reading The Invention of Morel I started to really like the main character and thought it was sweet that he fell in love with Faustine. I thought it was cute that he made a garden for her and that he would sit and watch the sunset with her and how he loved her even though she ignored him. I read the first half of the book thinking that this man was cute trying to find ways to make the woman fall in love with him. I also found his jealousy of Morel cute because it saddened him when Morel was with Faustine. While discussing the book in class we briefly mentioned how he was clearly a stalker of Faustine. I started looking at him in a different way, and the actions he was portraying in a different way. I realized how stalker-like he really was and how it even got worse through the ending. In the beginning he was just watching her constantly and following her and trying to be around her. He soon starts to sit and talk with her. He would get angry if she was with Morel and he wishes it were himself. Before he discovers if they are actually real or not he debates whether he should abduct her, go with her on the boat, or die of misery. He has either fallen so deeply in love that he is not thinking clearly, or he is just insane. As you are being reviled the secret you start to realize how obsessed the convict has become of Faustine. He finds out that it is just an image he is seeing of a woman, and that she is already dead, yet he still fascinates over her. He wants to get off this island to find her and tell her he loves her in hopes that she wont be creeped out. He soon realizes that she isn’t alive anymore and that he has no hopes of getting off the island to find her, yet he still doesn’t give up. At the end he even adds himself into the whole creation of these people to make it look as if him and Faustine were actually in love with each other. He hopes that if anyone were to find them there that they would think they were passionate lovers. His obsession doesn’t stop there either. At the end he says, “My soul has not yet passed to the image; if it had, I would have died, I (perhaps) would no longer see Faustine, and would be with her in a vision that no one can ever destroy.” (Casares103) This obsession has gone so far that he dreams that when he dies he will live happily with Faustine and no one can stand in the way of that. Now I have finished the book and have looked closely at the “relationship” or lack thereof between the main character and Faustine. I would have never labeled him as in love with Faustine, just that he has a fascination with her. How can you really be in love with someone if you have never had an actual conversation with them, and you know absolutely nothing about them besides what they did everyday for a week of their life, and what they look like. It is also amazing to me that he would still fantasize about Faustine and have hope of love with her even after he realizes that she is no longer living, and the image he is seeing of her is like a picture on TV. He was so “in love” with her that he was planning on abducting her and still hopeful that she would return his love. To me he sounds crazy and I don’t think a way to make someone love you would be to stalk them crazily and then take them by force. I think that maybe he had such high hopes of a real life again and real love that he went crazy trying to get Faustine to fall in love with him. Also, even after he realized she was not actually there he didn’t want to take away that hope and chance of love so he did whatever he could to make it real. He may have been crazy, or he may have just had so much hope that he lost common sense.
Another part that I found very interesting, and kind of confusing was the fact that the convict kept thinking that the people were out to get him and kill him. Even as Morel was reveling they were not real he thought that they were going to search for him and kill him. I don’t know if it was because he was a convict or if he knew that he was stalking Faustine that he thought they were going to come after him. I realize that he kept thinking that maybe it was all a trap, but nothing seemed to give him that big of a clue that they were. They seemed like innocent, harmless bystanders and none of them seemed violent or like they saw him. Also if he were really afraid of them you would think he would have never presented himself to Faustine. I wasn’t too sure about why he was so afraid of them finding him.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
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